When Peter asked Jesus whether he must forgive his brother only seven times, Jesus said not seven times but seventy times seven times. Jesus also taught one can be forgiven if they show so much remorse. Jesus taught that anybody who has the right relationship with God can forgive sins. Jesus claimed the authority to forgive sins when he healed the paralytic. On that occasion, Jesus stated that the Son of Man has the authority to forgive sins. Jesus also said, no matter how much our sins, he loves man so much that he is ready to forgive his sins.
This is illustrated by the story of the parable of the prodigal son. The man in the parable is likened to God and the son is likened to sinners. While he does instruct his disciples to forgive "70 times seven times" in the Gospel of Matthew , in Luke he qualifies this teaching, saying, "If there is repentance, you must forgive" Both Gospels include the reciprocal formula in the Lord's Prayer, "Forgive us as we forgive others," but where Matthew's version talks about forgiving debts, Luke's prayer asks for forgiveness of sins Matthew ; Luke The Greek word translated as "forgive" in all of these passages is also the standard term for the remission of a financial debt.
In all four Gospels, Jesus notes the importance of forgiving others to ensure God's forgiveness. Matthew includes the Parable of the Unmerciful Servant, in which a freed slave who does not forgive the debts of another is thrown into jail to be tortured. Jesus concludes this story with a less-than-comforting moral, "So my heavenly Father will also do to every one of you, if you do not forgive your brother or sister from your heart" Matthew One of the most celebrated forgiveness texts is Jesus' prayer from the cross, "Father, forgive them; for they do not know what they are doing" Luke This is often cited as the quintessential moment of unconditional Christian forgiveness, and held up as a model that believers should seek to emulate.
Often, pastoral caregivers present victims of violence with this verse to demonstrate the perfect Christian response to persecution and wrongdoing. This becomes especially problematic when victims -- especially of domestic violence -- are pressured to reconcile quickly and unconditionally with their abusers based on an idealized portrait of Christian forgiveness.
While Jesus is certainly an advocate of forgiveness -- in addition to the verses cited above, he claims the authority to forgive sins on earth Matthew ; Mark ; Luke and announces his mission as one of "forgiveness of sins" Luke -- he is far from consistent on the issue of interpersonal forgiveness. Mt possibly also goes back to Jesus and emphasises the necessity to forgive, attempting to create a willingness to forgive in the reader even by negative reinforcement Mt Jesus' disciples would have sensed that interpersonal forgiveness is not an easy matter.
By saying seven times or 70 times seven Jesus says one should forgive without limit, and this leaves the question open whether Jesus' teaching could not be exploited by the abuser. Matthew's version probably Q, 7 not requiring prior repentance seems to emphasise that this should be ignored by the forgiver.
If forgiveness is to be preceded by repentance Luke's version , what about cases in which the victim wants to forgive for the sake of his or her own well-being, but the perpetrator has no sense of having done anything wrong? This probably constituted no problem for Matthew, Q, or even Jesus. One should forgive even if not asked, 8 because one has been forgiven by God Mt It also correlates with the Lord's Prayer where the petitioner has forgiven already or while praying cf.
If forgiveness is dependent on the willingness of the perpetrator to ask for it, the victim is still exposed to and in the power of the whimsical perpetrator, and not liberated. His or her act of forgiveness for their own well-being as well as that of the perpetrator should therefore occur unconditionally, a pill probably too bitter for Luke to swallow despite his report of Jesus' unconditional forgiveness of his crucifiers on the cross, Lk But there is another problem.
Is forgiveness an absolute obligation, to which the perpetrator has a right? Is forgiveness not in essence based on generosity and mercy? This question already brings me into the realm of positive psychology, to which I now turn. Positive psychological reflection on forgiveness. Whereas our focus is here on forgiveness, other concepts explored by positive psychology include the notion of compassion, love, humility, gratitude and many others cf. By zooming in on such concepts as forgiveness, positive psychology is not trapped in a diagnostic medical model that diagnoses people as having certain deficiencies, which classifies them and actually increases their sickness or suffering.
Here we can only mention the example of homosexuality which was regarded as an ailment until when it was removed from the DSM III, as well as Asperger Syndrome long argued by Aspergers themselves as being a 'diffability' and not a disability which was only recently removed. By focussing on positive notions like forgiveness, positive psychology seeks to contribute to psychological health and happiness. It represents a proactive approach to psychology without denying that psychological ailments do occur, cf.
Maddux Having been introduced to Jesus' views as preserved for us in the synoptic tradition, it is amazing to discern what happens when psychologists begin to study the concept scientifically, as has been done by McCullough and Witvliet and others e. Worthington Insight into the positivity of forgiveness is gained, which corroborates and enhances Jesus' outstanding breakthrough years ago. However, some problems regarding forgiveness also come to the fore. McCallough and Witvliet observe that although the concept of forgiveness functions in all the main religions, 'social theorists and social scientists basically ignored forgiveness for the last three centuries.
Forgiveness fails to warrant even a footnote in years of post-Enlightenment thought'. If this judgement is right, one can ask if the severe neglect of this important and central notion of Jesus' thought actually can account for the countless wars in Christian history and the division amongst Christian churches, the odium theologicum, and also the failure in interpersonal relationships between human beings in the capitalistic Western world, for instance in marriage, family or business affairs what in Germany is called Ellenbogenkultur.
In the words of McCullough and Witvliet , positive psychology points to the fact that the natural response to a feeling of being wronged is revenge and resentment, and that forgiveness demands a conscious decision to act otherwise. According to Smedes, we cannot simply forget a wrong, because 'the wrong sticks like a nettle in our memory. According to Arendt, we need forgiveness in human affairs for it is the remedy for the irreversibility of human action; it frees us from not being haunted and consequently paralysed by our past actions and it liberates us for future positive action.
She comments:. Without being forgiven, released from the consequences of what we have done, our capacity to act would, as it were, be confined to one single deed from which we can never recover; we would remain the victims of its consequences forever Arendt [] Towards defining forgiveness.
Forgiveness as such is as with many other such value concepts difficult to define, and McCullough and Witvliet go about the problem by firstly distinguishing it from other concepts, in other words, what forgiveness is not:.
However, as far as reconciliation is concerned it should to my mind be noted that a reconciliatory process is most often the logical consequence after forgiveness has occurred. Interestingly, in the Louw and Nida New Testament Dictionary, reconciliation and forgiveness are discussed as part and parcel of the same semantic field This corroborates with Jesus' view that one should leave one's sacrifice at the altar thereby making the ritual service to God second priority and reconcile with the brother if the latter feels wronged Mt But how could one describe forgiveness positively?
McCullough and Witvliet mention three 'senses', namely as a response, a personality trait or disposition, and as a characteristic of social units. Some can then be typified as 'forgiving' and others less so.
As any other personality trait this can be measured with psychometric instruments according to different scales. Marriage, family and certain communities are then expected to have forgiveness functioning in them on a regular basis.
If there is no forgiveness, marriages will not last, and the high divorce rate can be probably be attributed to the fact that forgiveness does not play an efficient role any more. The same can be said of a church congregation which claims to live by Jesus' principles.
These features especially the third can easily be discerned in the teaching of the historical Jesus. In Mark 10 he warns against divorce and motivates it in terms of the intimacy that had initially occurred in marriage becoming one flesh is mentioned twice.
By saying, 'you are all brothers' Mt , Jesus takes up the sibling relationship to typify his followers Hellerman , and in Luke he explicitly expects a commitment from his followers to forgive one another unrestrictedly. Positive aspects of forgiveness as affirmed by positive psychological research.
Various instruments and tests are listed by McCullough and Witvliet indicating a positive correlation between forgiveness and other aspects of life, for instance the TRIM inventory measuring the motivation of avoidance and revenge and the Trait Forgiveness Scale or Forgiveness Likelihood Scale In the main, research results are positive, showing forgiveness to be as beneficial to victims as to perpetrators.
To summarise: On the basis of their research, McCullough and Witvliet regard forgiveness as positive for human well-being; in fact, they voice no criticism against the concept of forgiveness.
However, such criticism has come from philosophical and even religious or ethical quarters. Problems of forgiveness. In certain trends of Buddhist thought, forgiveness and even compassion involving the alleviation of human suffering is regarded as too much of an intervention strategy which interferes with a person's karma or deserved punishment Van Zyl, pers. I will not elaborate here, except to mention that in Christianity the notion of cheap grace is also mentioned as contrary to forgiveness.
Table 4. Women often suffer, but this is not limited to one sex. A counter-argument could be that such cases are a minority that exist by virtue of exceptional pathology and should be distinguished and treated as special cases. Unfortunately, monogamous marriage as happens so often in cases of rape provides a structure which is undetected by the rest of society and constitutes a haven for such exploitation.
A solution could be that marriage should exist in the context of a larger community e. This, however, goes against the trend in Western society towards privacy and individualism where 'everyone minds his own business'. From philosophical circles the philosopher Jacques Derrida criticised forgiveness in a lecture in South Africa whilst the Truth and Reconciliation Commission was in session published in Derrida At that stage, because the Commission was a national institution, it was expected to operate in a certain fashion.
Perpetrators were expected to confess or acknowledge their crimes before the Commission or else they could be persecuted ; if they did confess they were granted amnesty by the state, that in the same breath expected the victims to forgive the perpetrators. Because of the severity of the atrocities involved, this did not happen in many cases, with the perpetrators then obtaining the moral high ground. Derrida argued that in such cases people would be bereaved of their freedom not to forgive and to work through their pain in a way appropriate to their own character.
One would then have to conclude that Jesus was wrong in saying that people should forgive, or at least that his command should rather be interpreted as a strong admonition based on the fact that the forgiveness would still be done voluntarily and being based on mercy and love. A to my mind excellent poem by the Afrikaans poet Antjie Krog a, b 10 cf. Figure 1 for the Afrikaans, with an English translation gives vivid expression to the surmised positive and negative aspects of a forced process of forgiveness.
To my mind the 'counter-exposition' see poem represents exactly the purely religious aspect only God can forgive of forgiveness against which Jesus polemicised, and which - despite its ostensible piety - proves to be false.
At this stage it should already be clear that forgiveness is no easy matter, therefore it gains such respect when it occurs. Having been convinced by the emotional benefits that forgiveness entails, and really suffering because of continued resentment in the case of victims or feelings of guilt in the case of perpetrators , many people seek to give or obtain forgiveness but do not know how.
On an internet website www. The website is open to anybody and surely will have some measure of success, fluctuating according to people's propensities. Forgiveness is unlimited here, but it is not unconditional. The context of Matthew 18 makes it clear. In this story, there was a king who forgave one of His servants. This servant was not able to pay the king back. The servant pleaded with the king to be patient until he could get the money.
The king was gracious and decided to cancel the debt and let him go. When that servant was forgiven, there was another person who owed that same servant money. Unfortunately, the servant was not kind and gracious towards the man like the king was to him. This last statement is important because it shows one who is willing to repent. The man was going to pay the king and servant back, but he just needed some time to do so. Similarly, we may not be able to pay our sin debt; for it is too great.
However, if we plead with God and repent to our best effort, God will still forgive us. So this story does show a heart of repentance.
The story illustrates how Christians should be unlimited in how often they should forgive. Anytime someone asks, we should forgive. This is an important point. Our free will restricts us from receiving the pardon God wants to give us.
I believe God desires to extend His mercy and grace to all. In John , God makes it clear He died for the sins of the whole world. I believe that He died not just for the elect, but for everyone. However, not everyone is forgiven because it requires restoration. He does not retain his anger forever, because he delights in steadfast love. He will again have compassion on us; he will tread our iniquities underfoot.
You will cast all our sins into the depths of the sea Micah God does not hold our sins against us forever. If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us of ALL our sins. He is a compassionate and gracious God to us. As you can see from the book of Micah, God is eager to forgive. Moreover, God delights in forgiveness because one of his chief attributes is love. Love is a powerful weapon against hate. Love is what wins people over to the goodness of the Lord.
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